Weakness

This morning I ate 120calories

and i feel like murdering my self.

ana wants to murder me for my weakness.

I want to murder me so badly for my weakness.

but I won't. I'll work it all off today at the gym, ill cause my body the pain it deserves

for tricking me into thinking IT has control. I have the control for a perfect body

a perfect soul.

I pop my pills one by one throughout the day,

count them.. one two three four five six seven eight

all in a day

plus a few more, I count on these to cope.

some are my diet pills, some are my skin pills, and some are whatever I need at that minute.

there's a bottle of water in my hand

and every day I pray that ana takes a bite out of my flesh

and every day that i take control

thats exactly what happens.

I love you so much ana