graduation trigger

Yesterday I went to a couple graduation parties. At the first one, I had to leave early because I stepped on a bee, which stung me, and I'm allergic. I left to go to urgent care and they were closed! so I just went home, popped a benadryl and I literally fainted, passed out, hit the floor! with a slight detour of contact between my head and a table, but after I regained consciousness I was completely fine, so I left my house for another party. There was lots of food, and at first I was scared; I avoided it, but my sister and friends know about my anorexia, so they stared and I knew if I didn't get something they'd be upset with me. So I got some roasted potatoes, salad, and vegetarian baked beans. I ate them and they were good, I do like food now, but eating in front of people is really hard for me at times. a couple hours later I even ate a piece of cake, although I did shave most of the icing off of it, it was good. When I got home, I started to freak out a bit, I started to shake, I started to cry, so I exercised for thirty minutes. I am recovered. but ED creeps up on me some days, tries to pull me back down. I think what triggered me was that I should've graduated that same friday, but I didn't because I was out of school for four months. The reason behind missing that school was my hospitalizations. caused by Anorexia. So why would that trigger me? I missed out on graduating because I got sick, so why not get sick again? makes perfect sense right? no. Today I speak with a clear head and I know I am okay.